We deserve moments of silences
Pauses in breathe
Where time slows his step
Sanity reaches out with her tentacles
And truth prevails
We deserve laughter
When reality halts its onslaught
And force feeds us clarity
We are desrving of so much
But get so little
Across invisible borders
They lob bombs of hate
At unseen faces
Tearing humanity apart at the seams
In the name of the intangible
They claw at each other
Ripping limbs into shreds
Their human-ness drained
Their beauty nullified
We seem to be better at destruction
In the name of madness
Than the reversal of truth's pain and suffering
Morning dew glistens
Reflecting the sun's first glances
The breeze dances between blades of grass
And smoke hangs lightly above the city
He rubs his eyes, crawls out of bed to start another day
His morning ritual commences
His mind steps ahead
Planning the day ahead with a heady mixture of reluctance and excitement
The possibility of the unknown
Is a cross we all bear
And he carries it painfully
I spend my nights
Listening to the sound of possibility
Each whisper, each creak, each thud,
Charges the imagination
And sends fear crawling up the spine
I have succumbed to the madness of random thought
Allowed impossibility to encroach on my sanity
I recognise this all
But still ......
I've always wanted to write a poem about music
Words melodic enough to capture the essence of song
A lyrical journey through chord and harmony
I play my favourite songs over and over again
Hoping that inspiration shall and the words will flow
But they never do
All I hear is indefinable sounds
I've always wanted to write a poem about music
But
How do you speak Marvin Gaye?
How do you describe Jimi Hendrix?
How do you verbalise Prince?
I've always wanted to write a poem about music
But it's simpler to just .....
With each blow he becomes invisible
This vicious cycle of pain
A misguided attempt to define himself
When the madness lies within him
He seeks to silence the voices in his head with her screams
His reflection no longer looks back at him
When he drifts past the mirror
With his eyes turned inward
He dreams of manhood
Never realising with each action
He becomes less of a man
Self-castration takes many forms
And he is becoming a euneuch
He has heard that the heart carries love
And looks for it in the puddles of blood he leaves
He has heard that this is what men do
And looks at those who are invisible too
To lead the way to salvation
He has become everything he despised
And is surprised at the hate she harbours
They are caught in a chaotic rhythm of his doing
But I am the greater sinner
I have seen and yet I do not see
I have heard and, yes, I do not hear
I have spoken but do not speak
I am the reason she shall gasp her last breath under the weight of his fists
I am responsible for the consequence of my silence
lately, my shadow has started taking form
a four dimensional reflection of me
that fades in and out of reality
it doesn't talk
it just mirrors my every step
like for like, step for step
rhythm in absolute synch
when i smile, it frowns
when i cry, it laughs
we are melodies in conflict
travellers on opposing paths
my shadow has started to become me
as i drift in and out of reality
every day i become less solid
and when i look in the mirror
i see more and more of me
from the inside out
my shadow and i
my shadow and me
we have started drifting apart
Definition of self is fluid
A meandering thought
A wisp of smoke
A drop of water snaking down the window
Moments of clarity are static
A wall to be climbed over
A fire to be extinguished
A madness that needs a cure
I am no longer exact
I no longer seek a response to my cries
I lose my voice
And regain it in moments of silence
My tongue rests while my mind works
Please hold my hand
Console me with triviality
Distract me with pettiness
Speak of nothing meaningful
Help me rest easy
Show me that the purpose of living
Is merely to live and experience
I am tired of purpose and hope and dreams and future and utopia
I crave them not
I seek the chaos of insanity
I wish to return to childhood
To rediscover the beauty of colour
The laughter in sound
I wish to touch the sky with every smile
Make it all new again
Please Mother, make it all new again
my bones crack
under the weight
of my thoughts
my back twists unnaturally
crying silently
i feel like a butterfly
eternally trapped in its coccoon
with only the wind's singing for company
the voices in my head have taken extended leave
multiple moments in silence
have started to scare me
i never realised
how much i need internal company
and now i'm alone
indefinable
inconsolable
caught in a self-fulfilling bubble
no matter how high we rise
i go lower and lower
i have decided that
in my next life
i shall be nothing
consistently
what kind of man
dances on the razor's edge
suckling madness from mother earth's nipples
birthing destruction in the name of brighter tomorrow's
at birth the body starts to degenerate
it crumbles at a handicapped snail's pace
and we think ourselves superhuman
the fraility of humanity is an inevitability
we remain blind to
we are submerged in a waterless atlantis
with an awful monkey on our backs
scratching, pointing, snarling
weighing us down
I have lost my way
We cry acid rain
Burn streaks of pain into our cheeks
They run down our face
Drip and sizzle into puddles
And carve potholes into the earth
We forget our suffering
Forget the blood we bleed
Forget that experience is the flame that defines us
Forget that we are our successes
And our weaknesses
We carve the future from the past
We do not dwell but build
We do not wallow but rise
That is the beauty of humanity
But let us learn from history
Let us change the weavings in life
And actually learn from history
I overstand
Means I see more than you see
I have reached my highest state
Wait for the gatekeeper to open the gate
Your time may come
Before your last breath is done
I have moved beyond this realm
I am a spirit floating through hell
Master and commander of my own destiny
Look in the mirror and admit it
You just can't see me
I am Ellison's invisible man
And while that may not have been the plan
I embrace my metamorphosis
Seven years of bad luck less the one where I am unseen leaves six
Change shall come
Revolution shall come
We shall all see zion
Through the eyes of our great grandchildren
I no longer seek utopia in this world
It exists only when I close my eyes
And, for a moment, the voices are silent
I do not resent them
They keep me company
Often seeing what I don't see
Let it be and imagine all the people
Crawling over each other
When heaven runs out of space
Give thanks to the ancestors
And contact grace
I'm told that's what we do before we eat
I don't eat meat anymore
I'm told it's fashionable
And I will live longer
But what if I want to leave
And am terrified of suicide
Hahahahahahahahahaha
She whispers to me
Suspended in a purgatory
She doesn't understand
She dreams of leaving
Without knowing where to go
She whispers to me
Her form reflected
On the inside of my eyes
Her scent tastes like orange
Her laughter, though rare, a melody to dance to
She whispers daggers
They slice my eardrums
Carve space between my teeth
The hairs on my tongue rise
Prickle the roof of my mouth
I choke on mothballs and words
She whispers to me
I have no answers
No ancient wisdom
No one-size-fits-all
No reason behind the reason
Just me and her
Whispering to me
We gravitate towards kindred souls
Stepping over the hurdles
Climbing in & out of life's potholes
Crawling round the mountains of madness
In search of our sanity
We reach out for each other
Hoping that these are the arms
That will hold answers
And the comfort of laughter
Let us bow our heads and pray
To the higher self
Open up the ethereal connections
Dance on the milky way
Hop between stars
Happiness is galaxies drowned in the infinity of our pupils
I am a stargrazer
Nibbling on galactic dust
Sipping on meteoric waters
I never falter
I am the chameleon
Humanoid changeling
Exist in transition
Consistent in movement
Never stopping
Always in process
The faces I wear are in multiples of infinity
They slide in and out of place
Without thought
I am liquid
Taking on whatever form necessary
Touch the sky
There is no limit
The masks on my arm speak to me often
Drowning out the voices in my head with theatrical mumbo-jumbo
I love laughter
And we all know
Too much of something just isn't good for you
Okay, maybe happiness but truth
An overdose on reality results in only death
Actually death is also a consequence of life
The walls are talkinng
Give me a minute
Gonna say something back
